I hope that everyone had a beautiful and fun holiday! We certainly had a blast celebrating Christmas with our wonderful families as well as having a relaxed day just the three of us (& Rexx and Elsa of course)!
Well, to begin, I wanted to start this post off by apologizing. To the people who have supported me as well as myself. Lately, I have let others opinions of my life and what I love to do effect my goals for myself, as well as the way I see myself.
Letting others words get to me has been a battle I have dealt with my whole life. And it boils down to the fact that I have given others the power over my own happiness. Which is one of the reasons I have been absent on my blog as of lately. This kills me, because these past months have been some of the happiest of my life! And I allowed someone’s words to take control and make me rethink every step I took forward, which was my own fault.
I completely understand that I am not perfect, and the path I have taken may not have been everyone’s choice. But that is ok! Because everyone has a different path to follow. With different battles and different wins. Different goals and different challenges. Just because we each have a different path doesn’t mean that there is something wrong.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have really tried to take a hard look at who I am, my strengths and weaknesses, and where I want to be. When my answer came to me, it was the clearest I think it has ever been. I want to be right here. Right where I am. I want to be a wife to the most amazing man I have ever known. I want to be a mother to my babies. I want to spend time with our families and enjoy the laughter and good times. I want to love my dogs and my home. I want to have everything that I have. I have always loved writing and creating anything and everything, which is why I enjoy blogging so much. After I was able to tell myself this (out loud), I instantly felt crazy. How could I have ever doubted myself? I understand that some of these people were coming from a place of worry, pain or fear. I understand some were just trying to, in a different way, show that they care.
Where I made a mistake was allowing someone’s words power over me. My happiness. My goals. My life. I allowed myself to question what I had worked for, and if I was really cut out for where I had chosen to be. I am not going to sit here and say that 2018 was a terrible year. Because it wasn’t. Quite frankly, it has been one of the most blessed and happy years of my entire life. But it did have plenty of ups and downs, as well as learning moments. I learned not to be so afraid to stand up for myself (which has been one of the hardest and most uncomfortable positions I have ever been in.) I have been humbled and learned to be patient as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. I have learned to look deeper into others emotions, and not take things so personally (another thing I SUPER struggle with.) And I have begun to learn to let go. Of words, of negative memories, and in some difficult but necessary situations, of negative relationships.
This year has been a year of learning. Learning to not be so afraid and doubtful. Learning to be more understanding and thoughtful. Even when I say this, I am still learning. It is something I have to work on everyday. But I am so thankful to be able to grow with the people I have by my side! I am still learning to be a better person to not only my loved ones, but myself included.
Thank you to all of my friends and family who have been so loving and supportive. Thank you to my village! I hope you all have had a good 2018, and are looking forward to the New Year ahead!
And don’t be afraid to try new things, venture to capture the dreams you have always wanted to achieve as well as learning to grow for yourself. It is a hard process, and I am only in the beginning, but I can already tell, it is beyond worth it!
Happy New Year’s Eve, & I will talk to you in my next post!